I’ve read this sentiment a lot in the 3 years I’ve been around fibroid help groups, so I thought I’d address it with an article.
There are two parts to my thoughts on this. The first is, without wanting to be too stereotypical, this is something we do as women far too much. We put everyone and everything else first, and ourselves at the bottom of the pile. We think our husbands can’t cope with everything if we don’t do it. We think our work can’t cope if we take some time off. And as a result we run ourselves ragged doing everything and not taking time for our own wellbeing. This isn’t just when it comes to surgery but in all sorts of areas… men are happy to spend the whole evening sitting watching TV, whereas women will think they’re doing the same when actually they’re cleaning or organising or washing or who knows what whilst half-watching what’s on TV. That’s not the same thing!
The world won’t end if you take a break.
And when it comes to surgery, particularly if what you are considering is hysterectomy, then you need treatment. This isn’t something flippant and selfish like getting your nails done (see my other article about selfishness), this is about your wellbeing, your health, your quality of life.
I’m assuming if you are considering hysterectomy you have some fairly major reasons, whether they are heavy bleeding and/or pain from fibroids, all the way to life-saving cancer treatment. Whatever your reason, think about your life now, and what it could be. If you have lots you need to do (whether that’s work or kids or anything in between) think how much easier it would be to do if you didn’t have these medical issues. How much easier would it be to play with the kids, shuttle them to hockey games, even just work a full day with good focus if you weren’t worrying about bleeding all over everything, or dealing with pain?
Look at it this way. If right now you don’t think you have time for surgery, what would you do if tomorrow you got a phone call telling you that you’d won a 3 week holiday somewhere amazing – the Maldives for example. All expenses paid, no stress, just go and come back. Would you try to make whatever arrangements you could to go? I know I would 🙂
I know a 3 week holiday is not the same as having surgery (if only!) but there’s a good chance the surgery will give you your life back. I understand you’re busy, everyone is busy, but things can be so much better than they are right now.
Have I managed to convince you? Maybe? Maybe not? If not there’s one other thing to consider. Right now you’re very busy, and you’re managing to do everything and more whilst dealing with whatever symptoms you have. I’m sure they get in the way and hamper your plans at times. So… what happens if you’re always busy and you never make time? There’s a high probability the problem will get worse. This isn’t a time for sticking your head in the sand! And if it gets worse, it will get even harder and more stressful to try to do everything you’re currently doing, and you may also end up with other health issues or fewer surgical options.
‘Busy’ is not a reason not to have surgery. Is ‘busy’ just your way of not wanting to deal with having surgery? Because it’s natural to be nervous or afraid. But it’s OK 🙂 For more info you can read the personal stories on this site, or find more articles – how about my article on making choices?